Margaret’s Persuasion Coach Blog

What does empathy have to do with consensus building, persuasion and negotiation? The best way to motivate someone to address your concerns is to understand and address theirs—in ways that are compatible with your own interests. But the most persuasive skills are...

People are often too quick to assume that interest-oriented persuasion, consensus building, and conflict resolution won’t apply to certain situations. Last week, CBS reported on a Mr. Bill Bartman, owner of a debt collection agency with a policy of what the CBS...

A few days ago, I turned on the evening news. First up was the story about the New York “road rage” incident between a group of motorcyclists and the driver of an SUV. The next story featured a local incident in which a man who was apparently beating his wife while...

A British nurse rode her bicycle to call on a patient, but when she came out of the patient's home, she found that her bike had been stolen. She reported feeling “gutted” and “quite cross.” But she wrote a note, “Please return my bike. It is old but loved and will be...

As most of you know, many of the most effective persuasion and consensus building skills are counterintuitive. Nowhere is this more important than when we are feeling strong negative emotions such as anger, indignation or resentment. The words that tend to pop out of...

In an article about how to make someone’s day,[1] Martha Beck writes about a client, a young woman with anxiety disorder, whose parents accompanied her to a counseling session. After the parents expressed their worry, the woman asked them to stop worrying because it...

Awhile back, in “Persuasive Praise,”[1] I wrote about how to communicate compliments or praise in ways that best motivate people. A few days ago, I experienced first hand the power of a persuasive compliment. This past spring, I decided the time was right to sell my...

What is your idea of a good friend? Many would say she is someone who is there for you during tough times. Psychology Today reports a Gallup World Poll finding that having such a friend was the strongest predictor of happiness in the workplace.[1] But the PT article...

Some time ago, I wrote about the way sleep, or other mental breaks, result in fresh inspiration when a consensus-seeking interaction gets stuck.[1] Recent experiences have reminded me how well this works for other types of problem solving. For several weeks, I’ve been...

More and more studies show that optimism can improve your health, happiness, and I would add, even your success at persuasion and consensus building. Going into a conversation with a positive attitude works in your favor.  But expecting trouble can lower your...