Margaret’s Persuasion Coach Blog

Could the simple expedient of getting to know one another still enable cooperation across the Congressional aisles? I have read one article that says no, we’ve passed the point of no return…But a recent event gives a very different impression. Two congressional representatives, Democrat and Republican, decided to rent a car and drive to D.C. together.

Some names seem more persuasive than others. In a business meeting, whose ideas would you take more seriously, Eleanor’s or Bambi’s?…But what about the names we’ve already got. Should Murgatroyd risk offending the grandfather he’s named after by changing his name? Not yet. First, Murgatroyd uses the persuasive communication skills he learned from my books…

Open questions, that is, questions that can’t be answered yes or no, are among the skills I personally use most, particularly helpful in following The Silver Rule. They usually involve one of the words “who,” “what,” “when,” “where,” “how,” or “why.”… The open question advances the conversation without overtly contradicting Joe or Susan, i.e. without “making them wrong.” Thus, the question avoids or minimizes push back resistance from Joe or Susan.

I was all set to post several of my favorite quotes, when I came across two wonderfully uplifting news items…Knowing there are people like Vickie Williams-Tillman and Makenna Woodburn in this world fills me with hope for the future.

Now we move on to introducing our ideas to others. All the skills for doing so have a common denominator. They enable what I call my “Silver Rule”: Avoid or minimize wrong making. Humans are biologically wired to try to be right. We resist when someone indicates they think we’re wrong, that is, when they “make us wrong.”

I had cataract surgery this week, and am not yet up to spending a lot of time looking at a screen. I should be posting as usual within a few days. Meanwhile, here’s an interesting quote from a mystery novel I’m rereading.

How do you discuss your political ideas? You wonder how to begin? How to phrase things? But the most persuasive people listen more than they talk. They listen, not to rebut, but rather, to understand…You want to address the concerns the other person does have, not those you think she should have…For example, different people might favor a U.S.-Mexican border wall because…Other people might oppose the wall because…

A grounding trigger is something that automatically makes you feel good. It could be your wedding ring, a word or phrase you say to yourself, such “calm” or “I’m OK.” It could be a mental image that makes you smile, like my little friend Sophie, pictured at right.

In view of the new administration’s statements about the press and media…this seemed like a good time to brush off and update an article I posted in 2014, long before Mr. Trump even announced his candidacy.