Guilt, Growth & Consensus Building Confidence

Guilt, Growth & Consensus Building Confidence

I’ve read, a number of times, the difference between guilt and shame. I confess that, up until a few days ago, I might not have been able to accurately recount what I’ve read. But, in a TED Talk[1], University of Houston professor Brene Brown lays out the...
Shifting Gears Smooths the Road to Consensus

Shifting Gears Smooths the Road to Consensus

A reader of both my blog and my book, Bridges to Consensus, inspired me to adapt this blog article from one of the sample dialogues in the book. Like many of the sample dialogues, Dialogue 6 revolves around the following scenario: Fran, a hard-working volunteer, has...
When Non-Communication Is Good Communication

When Non-Communication Is Good Communication

What do you say when you don’t know what to say? Someone catches you off guard with a question you don’t know how to answer, an incredible statement, or an insult. You’re stumped, flabbergasted, or angry. The first thing to say in that initial confused, emotional...
Persuasive Praise

Persuasive Praise

Would you like to motivate someone such as an employee, student or child? You’re probably not surprised to learn that praise helps. According to an article in Psychology Today[1], we feel as good when praised as when given monetary rewards. But, you can bump...
Curb the Criticism for Persuasion Success

Curb the Criticism for Persuasion Success

A recent article in Psychology Today[1] validates my Silver Rule of Consensus, “Avoid making other people wrong.” The particular form of wrong making addressed in the PT article is criticism. Author Mary Loftus states, “There is mounting evidence that criticism can be...
Been There, Haven’t Done That

Been There, Haven’t Done That

[This article is adapted from a program I presented for Women’s History Month, March 2013.] My job is training people in what, for church groups, I call consensus building skills. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret. These are the same skills...