Margaret’s Persuasion Coach Blog
Why Do You Celebrate Christmas?
When we disagree with someone, we instinctively focus on the differences between our opinions. But to persuade or build consensus with someone, it works better to look for commonalities and discuss them first…I recently had an opportunity to practice commonality-seeking in a difference of opinion between blogger Catherine Onyemelukwe and her spouse, Clem…’You Unitarians don’t believe in Christ. So why do you celebrate Christmas?’
A Gift of Poetry for You
The bulk of my book “Love on the Rocks with a Twist” features short stories, each followed by study notes on the characters’ interactional skills–what they did well and how they could have done better. There are two exceptions. The introductory essay, “What’s the Twist,” and the poem “Dinner Date.” As my holiday gift to you my readers, I offer “Dinner Date” and it’s study notes in their entirety here
Reflections on Gratitude
At this heart-warming time of year, I offer a selection of quotations on gratitude and Thanksgiving…Which of these speak to you? “There shall be/ Eternal summer in the grateful heart.”
The Company We Keep, Then and Now, Pro and Con
I’ve been re-reading some favorite Jane Austen novels, reflecting on how few options for socialization people had in those days, especially outside of large cities. No phone, no texting, constraints of both time and etiquette on writing letters. One had to mingle with whoever lived nearby to have any significant social life…But every coin has another side.
Your Brain on Mixed Messages
The human brain evolved to view others as either good (green light) or bad (red light). This helped prehistoric humans survive. Will Jojo help me fight off the saber-toothed cat or throw me to the cat while he escapes? They had to decide instantly. So it helped to pre-classify others. The brain is uncomfortable with mixed messages or “cognitive dissonance.” If a “good” person hurts us, we may reclassify them as bad, or vice versa.
My Apt. Managers Get Creative
I love true stories about people creating ways to address the interests of both sides of an issue, for this skill lies at the heart of the consensus-building system I teach. I live in a large apartment community—over 400 units. We’ve had a dilemma here. The umbrella corporation does not allow tenants to solicit sales or donations from other tenants.
So, for example…
Surprised by the Dalai Lama
I had thought meditation meant focusing on something bland—such as deep breathing. The Dalai Lama, describes “analytical meditation,” sort of a right-brain version of a Cognitive Behavior Therapy (“CBT”) technique for rebutting negative thoughts. He spends most of his meditation time in analytical meditation, apparently focusing on the same type of broad issues that concern me.
Keeping Up with News while Staying Sane
In previous posts in this series on news, I’ve promised ideas on staying reasonably informed while also looking after your own wellbeing. Here are some things that help me. I hope you, too, find them useful.
Good News about News—Harvey
I am so proud of our Houston Public Media, PBS station Channel 8(which was the first public TV channel in the country!) and News FM 88.7 (NPR). They provided, and continue to provide, unique services in connection with Harvey and it’s aftermath.
Things to Know, Do and Not Do about Harvey
I live in Houston. I am aware that people outside our local TV viewing area are not getting the whole picture about the situation here. Also, probably with the best of intentions, some people are saying and doing things they think helpful, but making a difficult situation even harder. As someone who has lived in Galveston or Houston all my life, I’d like to share some information and suggestions.