Why Do You Celebrate Christmas?

Why Do You Celebrate Christmas?

[Image is Margaret at a book signing.] Our brains are wired to focus on our differences when we disagree with someone. But in order to persuade or build consensus with that person, look for common ground and build from there. It’s hard to look for common ground when...
A Gift of Poetry for You

A Gift of Poetry for You

The bulk of my book Love on the Rocks with a Twist features short stories, each followed by study notes on the characters’ interactional skills–what they did well and how they could have done better. There are two exceptions. The introductory essay, “What’s the...
Reflections on Gratitude

Reflections on Gratitude

At this heart-warming time of year, I offer a selection of quotations on gratitude and Thanksgiving: “There shall be/ Eternal summer in the grateful heart.” Celia Thaxter, “A grateful heart,” Poems, 1872 “Gratitude is the heart’s...
The Company We Keep, Then and Now, Pro and Con

The Company We Keep, Then and Now, Pro and Con

I’ve been re-reading some favorite Jane Austen novels and re-watching the corresponding movies and TV shows, reflecting on how few options for socialization people had in those days, especially outside of large cities. No phone, no texting, constraints of both time...
Your Brain on Mixed Messages

Your Brain on Mixed Messages

Experts in “the dark arts of persuasion,” such as marketers, cult leaders and political entities, know how to trigger auto pilot reactions from us. But some auto pilot reactions happen without others’ interference. [To read more about 3rd party interference, enter...
My Apt. Managers Get Creative

My Apt. Managers Get Creative

I love true stories about people creating ways to address the interests of both sides of an issue, for this skill lies at the heart of the consensus-building system I teach. I live in a large apartment community—over 400 units. We’ve had a dilemma here. The umbrella...