Last time I wrote about Isobel and Violet building a friendship despite differences of opinion. But Mary and Henry show us what not to do.

The two are mutually attracted, passionately so. Yet Mary insists that they “aren’t right” for each other. She overrides her own feelings as well as her family’s opinions that Henry’s perfect for her.

Finally, Mary tells her grandmother, Violet, the real reason she rejects Henry. Her first spouse, Matthew, was killed in a car crash. Henry is a car racer. Sobbing and clutching her tummy, Mary tells Violet she can’t be a crash widow again. Every race, test and practice would torture her. Violet asks if she’s told Henry this. Mary has told him, and he offered to give up racing, but if he did, he’d resent her.

Then, for reasons unknown to the viewer, Mary accepts Henry. They marry. Again, for reasons unknown, Henry simply loses interest in racing.

Well, that might happen in fiction, like Downton Abbey. But in real life, marrying before truly resolving such a big issue spells Trouble. Mary was right. In all likelihood, either she’d go through torment every time Henry roared down the track, or Henry would stop racing and his resentment would ruin their marriage.

The same goes for persons entering a business partnership, despite different business philosophies, just because they’re such good friends.

Unexpected differences will always arise in such close relationships. Why put more major hurdles in your path before you even walk down that aisle or sign on that dotted line?

I’d advise Mary and Henry to try to resolve their difference before committing to marriage, using the skills I teach, coach and describe in Love on the Rocks with a Twist and Bridges to Consensus. They should resolve it in a way that truly satisfies both of them, not kidding themselves or believing that love conquers all.

And you lucky readers can get a jump on your next difference by honing those skills now so they come naturally when you want them. Contact me to learn how I can help you.