Persuasion Coach News
The 2024 Election – The Power of Positivity
I’ll get to some reasons the ‘24 election went the way it did in future posts. First, I offer more self-care. If you have not yet read the first article on self-care, scroll down this page. The articles are in reverse chronological order.
I read of a study in which people were asked to walk down the sidewalk, enter a coffee house, and get a drink. The subjects were not told that some money had been placed on the sidewalk (I don’t remember if it was $5 or $20) and that there was someone in the coffee house who would be a good contact for business networking.
Before getting these instructions, the subjects had been asked whether they considered themselves optimists or pessimists. When they proceeded to the coffee house, the optimists noticed the money and picked it up. They also noticed the person in the coffee house and started a conversation. The pessimists, however, didn’t notice the money. They walked right past it. Nor did they notice the business contact in the coffee house.
When we focus on positive things, we will notice more good things in our lives and attract them to us. When we focus on negative things, we are less likely to notice the good things in our lives and even attract negativity.
Where does that leave us with respect to news consumption? I don’t watch any 24-hour TV news channels. They immerse people in bad news. They repeat the bad news over and over. They bombard one with programming that is not actual news reporting, but rather, so-called “pundits” talking about the news.
People get addicted to 24 hour news. I gave up on using the gym in my apartment complex because, if someone gets in there before me, chances are they will tune the TV to a 24-hour news channel. They are so addicted that it’s not enough to watch 24 hour news on their own televisions at home. They have to watch while working out.
Humans seem to gravitate toward bad news. But why?
This instinct evolved when bad news meant that the sabertooth cat was creeping up behind your friend or that a rival tribe was marching toward your settlement, shouting and brandishing their clubs. In our times, this instinct often works against us.
TV engages our senses in many ways—sight, sound and movement. Color images, as opposed to black and white. The more our senses are engaged, the more the news affects our emotions and even physical reactions.
I have found a way to read news, and believe it or not, it takes much less time than watching TV. Plus, it gives me more nuanced information. I subscribe to e-newsletters. (If you don’t take in information well by reading, I have suggestions for you below.)
I subscribe to several newsletters from Axios They have a morning newsletter, an evening newsletter and a later night newsletter that helps one end the day on a reflective, positive note. Axios also publishes local newsletters in some major cities, including here in Houston.
Axios’ philosophy is “smart brevity.” At the beginning of each newsletter, they tell you how many minutes it will take you to read it. Often, this is less than 10 minutes. They also give another side to each story.
What’s even better for me is that I don’t even have to read the entire Axios newsletter. There are sub headings for the various topics covered. So I can scroll right past ones that don’t interest me.
I’m doing a lot of self care these days, and for now, when the main newsletter headline includes the word “Trump,” I delete that email. I want news that might have some effect on what I do.
I don’t need to know who his cabinet members will be. I don’t need to know who secretly voted for him. Such details won’t change what I do.
I also subscribe to The Poynter Institute’s fact-checking arm, Politifact. Politifact does not simply rate things true or false. They have a scale: True, Mostly true, Partly true, Requires context, Partly false, Mostly false, False, and Pants on fire. Moreover, they explain the reasons for their ratings.
Now how about those of you who do not learn well by reading? You might be a visual learner. You may be a manual-kinesthetic learner, who learns by physical action, or when you can’t do the action yourself, watching action, such as on a video. You might learn better by watching television, but avoid the 24-hour channels.
For CBS, ABC, NBC and PBS, news represents only a small part of their programming. They want people who watch their news to stay with their channel and watch other shows. So they are less likely to air biased statements.
I tuned in to CBS when there was major breaking news, the attack on the US Capitol in January, 2021. This was like an attack by a rival tribe in prehistoric times. I felt a practical need to know what would happen..
CBS had preempted all their regular programming and gone to round the clock live coverage of that event. They didn’t stop until the people had left the Capitol grounds. I later learned that one 24 hour channel had not even covered the entirety of the attack. Rather, they under-reported it.
Finally, let’s return to inviting positivity into your life. I begin every day by visiting the Good News Network. They only publish upbeat stories.
Before bedtime, I like to watch humorous programs, like Shakespeare and Hathaway (on BritBox), or those with happy endings, like A Christmas Carol. I also enjoy playing games late at night, but not the fast paced action games the young people like so much. I prefer games like spider solitaire.
Here’s a link to A couple of lovely calming music videos and one meditative chant. Be patient. It might take a few seconds before the link to “Watch” appears and also a few seconds for the program to move from one little video to the next.
Till next time, wishing you peace and sweet dreams.
The 2024 Election – Self Care
To say that many of us were stunned by the outcome of the 2024 presidential election would be a major understatement. I don’t watch election returns come in. Why keep myself on tenterhooks? In this case, I thought it might be days before we would know the results anyway.
Yet, as soon as I turned on my computer on Wednesday, Nov. 6, 2024 and read the news, I felt a physical blow to my body, such as I have never felt before. It wasn’t like an impact that came from outside. It seemed to happen within my body. I had never felt so terrified and hopeless.
Many frightening thoughts ran through my mind:
- According to any number of news sources, Donald Trump stated that China would not oppose him because President Xi Jinping “Knows I’m fu— ‘crazy’.” He said that America’s adversaries would not act against US interests under a new Trump presidency because they would fear a forceful, even unpredictable, response.
- I recalled a Yahoo News summary of a Wall Street Journal article
Trump – who has previously been criticized for praising the Russian leader [Vladimir Putin] – said he had threatened him not to invade Ukraine.
He told the [Wall Street] Journal that he said to Putin: “I’m going to hit you right in the middle of fricking Moscow.”
- This man has shown no interest in furthering the steps his predecessors have taken to reduce carbon emissions. He has bragged about grabbing women by the crotch and getting away with it. He has disparaged women, people of color, LGBT+ in crude terms, and even mocked and mimicked people with intellectual disabilities. He has openly acknowledged that he studied the written works of dictators and even admitted that he would like to be one.
My first rational thought after the initial impact was that this man will now be in charge of the military forces of the United States of America. I thought of my friends and acquaintances in other countries, “What must they think?” Do they believe a huge number of US citizens actually approve of him? Do they know how close the vote count was?
The human mind naturally seeks a single answer to the questions “How?”and “Why?” something happened. In reality, however, there are usually a number of interacting factors.
I will provide some of my answers in a series of articles, beginning with this one. Meanwhile, you will find helpful information in my book Women Can Renew the World IF and so Can You.
First, take extra care of yourself at this time.
Stay Safe
Try not to drive while you are still upset. If you must drive, please don’t further distract yourself by talking on Bluetooth or listening to an audiobook. But do try to get outdoors, even if it’s only on your patio or balcony.
Anger
The human emotion of anger evolved to serve a useful function. It triggers the fight, flight or freeze response to a dangerous situation. However, nurturing that anger is unhealthy. Our bodies are not designed to stay in the flight, fight or freeze state for long periods of time.
We need to acknowledge our anger and let it out. That doesn’t mean that we should splash it all over Facebook or lay into those who voted differently from us.
From my work in the field of consensus building, persuasion and related communication skills, I assure you that verbally attacking, or even arguing with, people who voted for Donald Trump is counterproductive. It will actually make people dig in their heels and reinforce their commitment to their own opinions. (More about that later in this series of articles.)
So how do we get the anger out of our systems when fighting, fleeing or freezing won’t help? You can shut yourself in the bathroom and shout it out. You can take it out on the weeds you’re pulling. You can punch pillows.
You might express your anger to one other like-minded person, but you don’t have to hash it out with every like-minded person you know. Nor do you have to keep going back over it with the first person. You can write all about it, then shred the paper you wrote or printed it on. (More about alternatives to counterproductive arguing in a future article in this series.)
One thing I did with my anger was donate more than usual, as much money as I prudently could, to charitable organizations that help suppressed demographic groups— women, people of color, LGBT+, immigrants etc. I also donated to reliable, unbiased sources of news—Axios, the Poynter Institute and PBS.
Be Who You Really Are
Make yourself living proof that those who believe in true equality for all humans are kind, polite and caring to all humans, even those who disagree with us. Little acts, such as an especially warm smile and thank you to a service provider or holding a door open for a stranger, will lift your mood and help the other to think well of you no matter what your respective political beliefs.
Here’s a reading that helped me:
“Now what?” I ask myself at dawn this morning.
First, feel your racing heart, your incomprehension, your sorrow and anxiety, your harsh and brittle judgments.
Second, walk outside and watch the sunrise. Hear the loon’s mournful cry. Lift your head to the eagle flying above you.
Third, work harder. Work harder at understanding; at not allowing bitterness and anger to eclipse curiosity and love; at not succumbing to the use of the word “them,” even in your most private thoughts.
There’s so much to do, so many systems to change. Don’t let these phrases – these calls to action that sound so arduous – deter you.
What other way is there to build a future where the dominant pronoun is we?
We the people. We the inhabitants of Earth. We the parts of ecosystems where all sentient life arose.
Remember: we don’t know how this story ends. We do know we have a part to play in its unfolding. Strive to play a part worthy of your life.
Zoe Weil
This is the sort of thing I have shared on Facebook and received many thanks.
To be sure that you receive all the articles in this series, please register for my News Service in the simple form at the lower right of every page of my website.
And if you enjoy this article, please share it.
My New Book
Greetings valued followers,
My Latest
It’s been a while since I’ve posted any news, largely because I’ve spent upwards of a year working full time on a new book. The Man in the Mirror–an Independent Spirit in a Regimented World is a the true story of my dad’s experiences in the US Navy in World War II. At first blush, it might seem like a departure from my previous books, which cover aspects of the communication skills I teach–that is until you learn that Dad instinctively practiced some of these very skills.
When dealing with a difficult situation, Dad looked around for resources that might help him just as we do when attempting to reach agreement with someone. In dealing with others, he thought before he spoke and kept his voice low and respectful.
A Heartwarming Story
An uncommon man with an uncommon life aboard an uncommon ship, USS Vestal, Willie (Dad) was running his own successful business when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, Dec. 7, 1941. Though concerned about how his business would fare in his absence, Willie applied for admission to the US Navy the very next day.
He knew the regimentation of military life would run against his nature. Yet, my resilient dad persevered, creatively applying his unique skills and talents to make his life on a Navy service ship stand out. He proved to himself and to others that those peacetime talents were also valuable in war. He could call the Man he saw in the mirror every morning a friend.
A Model Parent
The tales Dad later brought home to my siblings and me did not feature many battles, but rather, unique experiences. He had a brush with death, not in war, but in boot camp. Natives serenaded him with a tune from home on every Pacific island he visited. He helped save another man’s life while on Shore Patrol duty. He stowed away on an Army plane. He made friends with a future Pulitzer Prize winner. And more.
Learn More and Please Give Feedback
You can read a large excerpt and view the pictorial Appendix on the book’s Amazon page. It’s available in both print and Kindle editions. I’d love to have your impressions after you’ve read the book.
Amazon Ratings and Reviews Are Easy
The best way to give me feedback is to write a simple Amazon review, which can be just a few sentences. From the book’s Amazon page, where you buy the book, scroll way way down until you see, “Review this product,” in the lower left.
However, I welcome your feedback no matter how you choose to deliver it.
Presentation & Book Signing
You are invited to my presentation on “Greed, Envy and Consensus Building,” August 6, 10:00 AM.
Afterward, I will be signing all three of my published books:
- Women Can Renew the World IF…and So Can You
- Bridges to Consensus
- Love on The Rocks with a Twist–Delightful Fiction with Lessons on Dealing with Others
Visitors will be welcome to attend either in person:
Emerson Unitarian Universalist Church
1900 Bering Drive (upstairs)
Or by Zoom:emersonhouston.org/adultlearners
See you there!
Save the Date – Aug. 6
I am pleased to report that I have been invited back to Emerson Church to teach another adult education class on August 6, 10:00 AM: “Greed, Envy and Consensus Building.”
Visitors will be welcome to attend either in person:
Emerson Unitarian Universalist Church
1900 Bering Drive (upstairs)
Or by Zoom:emersonhouston.org/adultlearners
I hope to see you there!
Margaret
Live or Zoom Presentation
Sunday May 21, 10:00-10:50 AM, I will be teaching a class based on my book, Women Can Renew the World IF…and So Can You. Visitors are welcome to attend in person or via Zoom.
This will not be straight lecture, but rather, more similar to the way I teach my training classes, interacting with attendees and demonstrating, with a helper, conversations using the skills I teach.
Emerson Unitarian Universalist Church
1900 Bering Drive (upstairs)
Zoom link:emersonhouston.org/adultlearners
I hope to see you there!
Margaret
Women’s History Month Sale
In honor of women’s history month, Women Can Renew the World IF…and So Can You is marked down to $12.75 throughout March 2023, in both print and Kindle editions.
“Women’s issues” don’t just affect women. This book will show you how today’s women can make history by improving the lives of entire societies. You will learn how to discuss sensitive issues like this in a persuasive, bridge-building manor.
Now is a great time to save if you have not yet read the book. If you have, how about gifting it to a friend or relative?
Valentine’s Special
Looking for a great deal on a unique Valentines gift? You and your sweetie can enjoy delightful fiction while also learning something about persuasive communication skills. Both print and Kindle editions of Love on the Rocks with a Twist–Delightful Fiction with Lessons on Dealing with Others are marked down Jan. 27 through Feb. 15. Click here for more details.
Please note: for the Kindle edition, if you are not enrolled in KDP select, look in the fine print below $0 for KDP select, and click on $5.25 to purchase.
Enjoy!
Book Talks & Signings
How about some new inspiration for the new year? Do you have a club or organization, or even an informal group of friends or neighbors, that would like me to give a talk based on one of my books? Choose from Women Can Renew the World IF… and So Can You or Love on the Rocks with a Twist–Delightful Fiction with Lessons on Dealing with Others.
I can speak in person or virtually, depending on the location and other details. If I do a book signing after the talk, I will sell the books at a special discount for the group. Please contact me by email, phone (not text) or the contact page of my website for more information.
New Years Wishes
I wish you all the happiest of New Years in 2023 and offer a suggestion that might make your year more satisfying.
Many years ago, a federal judge of my acquaintance told me that, that’s right there rather than making New Year’s resolutions, she chose a theme for the coming year each January. I love this idea because, all too often, resolutions arise from negatives, and thus, squelch enthusiasm.
I’m not so sure I really believe in astrology, but I do like to read Rob Breszny’s “Free Will Horoscope” every week in the Good News Network e-zine. [1] His message might be something like, “In the coming weeks, you might find it helpful to connect with old friends.”
This week, his suggestion for me is that integrity and generosity might bring me greater success. I liked those ideas so much that I made them my new years theme. I already got a chance to practice them.
Not wanting to drive in the peak of the recent “arctic blast,” we postponed our Christmas get-together—made like Brits and had a Boxing Day. Although Dec. 26 was a designated holiday, the traffic in my long drive across a big city was at least as bad as on an ordinary weekday—worse around shopping centers, I became impatient with everything and everyone that further delayed me. Thinking Don’t let it get to you only fanned the fire of my aggravation.
That’s how negative motivations work. To appreciate this, don’t think of an apple. What popped into your mind? An apple, right? Now, think of an orange. The orange prevented you from thinking about the apple.
So I was grumpily driving along when I remembered my theme of generosity. I chose to have generosity of spirit toward things and people who delayed me. Thinking I am generous led me to understandable reasons why people might drive the way they did. It was an uplifting experience. It wiped out my aggravation, so I continued driving with the happy expectation of seeing my family.
My Integrity theme helped me resolve a dilemma about whether or not to wear my mask at the gathering. I didn’t like what I imagined others might think of me if I wore the mask. But if I left off the mask for that reason, I would feel even worse about what I thought of myself. Considering Integrity, made it was clear to me that wearing the mask was the best choice.
I wish you all a theme that will bring you joy in the coming year.
_________________
[1] https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org