Do you find yourself wondering why some people continue to support particular politicians even when they go downhill after being elected? The reasons arise from deeply ingrained instincts that helped our species survive in prehistoric times.
The Drive to Be Right
In hunter gatherer days, being wrong could make the difference between life or death. In a group of hunters, if someone got the signals wrong, the animal might charge the hunters, injuring, or killing some of them. In a group of gatherers, if the lookout misidentified a dangerous predator as a harmless animal, once again, one or more members of the group could be killed.
Consequently, humans are hardwired to resist the idea that they are wrong. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible to change one’s mind, but it’s hard. The more important the matter, the harder it is. Think of a time when you changed your mind about something you had believed strongly. It might have happened after some dramatic event.
For example, a couple living on the Gulf or Atlantic coast might have lived through a number of hurricanes with no problems. So they don’t evacuate even when public authorities urge them to. The next bad storm destroys their home and belongings, including irreplaceable mementos like old photos and letters. The next time a storm head their way, they evacuate.
More often, changing one’s mind about a strong belief takes time. When you changed your mind, did it happen like a hurricane? Or did it happen little by little as you gained bits of information or found more of your acquaintances changing their mind on the matter?
This is why arguing with people who disagree with your political beliefs doesn’t work. What I teach people to do when addressing a disagreement proceeds in small steps. It takes time, but if the matter is important, it’s worth taking that time.
Resistance to changing one’s mine, however, is also driven by another factor.
The Drive to Be Consistent
Changing one’s mind not only admits that one was wrong, it suggests that they are inconsistent. People tend to look for consistency, especially in leaders. They may distrust a leader who changes their mind. In fact, however, if one isn’t continually learning, they are going backward. The person who never changes their mind should be distrusted.
The more strongly and openly we support a belief or a person, such as a politician, the harder it is to reverse ourselves. People who remain staunchly in favor of a disappointing electee are most likely those who put out yard signs for that candidate, wore the candidate’s button, donated and actively promoted the candidate on social media. They bought in more strongly and publicly than those who simply preferred that candidate over the opponent.
Robert Cialdini describes a chilling example from the Korean War. Whereas the North Koreans tried to coerce POWs’ cooperation through cruelty and punishment, the Chinese took a different, and much more successful, approach, their “lenient policy.” Post-war psychological studies revealed that, unlike World War II prisoners, almost all American prisoners in Chinese camps had collaborated with the enemy in some way.
The lenient policy began by asking the prisoner to make a seemingly inconsequential—and clearly true—statement like, “The United States is not perfect.” It seems like only a narrow-minded fool would disagree with that statement. After all, no country, city, family or person is perfect. Why deny it?
Once the prisoner took the position that the U.S. isn’t perfect, the interrogator could usually get him to build on it later, as by listing problems with the U.S. and signing the list. Now the prisoner had gone on record while also elaborating on U.S. imperfections. Still later, the prisoner agreed to discuss the list with other prisoners or write a more complete essay, which was then aired on radio broadcasts to other POW camps.
Cialdini writes, “Aware that he had written the essay without any strong threats or coercion, many times a man would change his image of himself to be consistent with the deed and with the new ‘collaborator’ label.” When an American escaped from a Chinese camp, at least one such ‘collaborator’ was willing to inform on the escapee for as little as a bag of rice. The Chinese had a near perfect record for recapture.
If you are like me, this true story not only shows you that we can be influenced sub-radar, but also that we greatly underestimate the strength of the influence. For a mere bag of rice, prisoners would inform on compatriot escapees.
So What Can We Do?
If a person still strongly supports a politician, even after they have flubbed up big time while in office, it would take a long time, perhaps more than a year, in repeated conversations to have a chance of changing their mind. Even such a persistent effort can still fail.
It’s more efficient to converse with those whose beliefs are not so strong, those who admit that the politician has made mistakes, but who fear what their opponent might do. In other words, they are more or less on the fence, and opted for the side with the existing office holder.
Even with such a person, direct and immediate arguments are less effective than the persuasive communication skills I teach. If this boiled down to a few simple tricks, I wouldn’t teach entire classes and write entire books about the system.
I can, however, offer you some starting points. Ask more than you tell. Show the person you understood what they said by paraphrasing it back to them and asking them if you got their point. If they say yes, proceed from there. If they say no, keep paraphrasing until they agree that you got their point.
Now you’re ready to make your own point. Don’t begin your statement with the word “but.” That’s a red flag that makes the person think, Oh yeah, now here it comes. They tune you out and let their minds work on a better way of expressing their opinion to you.
Equally important, perhaps more so, encourage people to vote. For reasons why some don’t vote and why they should if they possibly can, scroll down to an earlier article in this series, “Votes and Voting in the U.S.”
Till next time, take good care of yourselves. If you missed earlier articles in this series, scroll down. My website puts them in reverse chronological order. And if you would like to be sure, you don’t miss future articles and other news, simply fill in the News Service form in the right-hand column.