“They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you that practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds.” – Wilt Chamberlain, All-star basketball player
A member of one of my former writers critique groups kept perfecting the same book for years. We all thought it was great, but it was never good enough for her to stop revising it and move on to publication.
I confess that my perfectionistic tendency sometimes causes me to spend more time on my blog posts than business experts would recommend.
But this week, I can’t aim for the perfect blog. I’m working full tilt on a sermon I was asked to give on short notice. I couldn’t just use a talk I have “in the can,” because the sermon must relate to a theme of “Change.” I saw it as a great opportunity to discuss something I’m very interested in at present.
So no perfectionism in this blog post, but I hope you all will like it just the same.
I’ll leave you with some questions to reflect on:
Does perfectionism sometimes prevent or delay you from completing something you started? Or do you find perfection an inspiring ideal to aim for? Do you experience both of these on different occasions? How do you find a balance between perfection and practicality?
I think this is often more complex and individual than the simple word “perfectionism” (or the simple word “procrastination”) often suggests.
In my case, reliably diagnosed in my maturity as having strong signs of ADD (ADHD) brain wiring, it arises in two ways. When I am presented with an idea, a problem, or a challenge, my brain goes out to check it against anything that may be relevant (note the “may be” in that phrase). This is often overwhelming, so I set the idea, the problem, or the challenge aside (“I’ll get back to that later”). It has me looking not only for the “right” solution but also the “most right” solution, which of course doesn’t exist.
That’s one aspect. Very related, since this has been going on from a very young age, I would often get critical feedback from parents, teachers, and sometimes peers. I could feel very stupid (“What’s wrong with you?” or, introjecting that, “What’s wrong with me?”). I myself would feel I wasn’t living up to my potential. Procrastination would become a delay or avoiding of getting that reaction from others or feeling it in myself.
Just learning this about myself, about “my brain wiring,” was such a relief. The challenges of that wiring remain, and I have a coach of my own who specializes in coaching people diagnosed with ADD (ADHD). She very skillfully refuses to let me be bad and helps me to overlay some “rewiring” in messages of acknowledgement and appreciation. One of her slogans to me continually is, “Strive for excellence, not perfection.” And another is, “Be patient with yourself; be compassionate.”
First of all, thanks so much for this comment. It helps me, and I am sure others, to hear how ADD tendencies work from the point of view of someone who not only has the tendencies, but has found ways to manage them. From what you say, it sounds like you have found a way to pace yourself, take a break when your circuits get overloaded, which is a good thing for anyone to do. Some of us need longer breaks than others. I, too, find that, if I put something aside for awhile, then come back to it, I am almost always able to improve on my earlier ideas. It also sounds like you avoid making snap decisions, and rather, take time to get the facts straight and allow your own thoughts to develop at your own pace, also a good thing for anyone to do.
For example, many of us are distressed about the election and what has been happening in the aftermath. But they do themselves and their cause a disservice by constantly wallowing in bad news and repeating the “ain’t-it-awful” conversations over and over. They also do us all a disservice when they go off half-cocked to try to improve the situation without getting the information they need for their actions to be effective. I spoke at the UU Fellowship of Galveston County yesterday, and closed with this very thing. I commented on the need to take long breaks and concentrate on something positive and absorbing. That’s how I understand what you do, and I see it in the interesting and helpful conclusions you reach.
In my opinion, technology has increased people’s desire for everything to happen fast. Some don’t even know how much better their ideas and actions could be if they paced themselves and took the time to get the facts straight. You have shown me that ADD is another form of diversity, of being differently abled, not disabled, with its own challenges and its own talents that others should learn to appreciate.